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HOW SHOULD WE PRAISE OUR CHILD?
We also need to pay attention to our words when praising our children. Why? Turkish Expert Educator answered the questions for you.
- Your child makes a picture and shows it to you. Actually, you’ve seen a lot better ones, but he’s wondering how you’re going to react. How bout him? “Magnificent. It’s the best picture I’ve seen. Excellent.” Your child will fly with happiness, and you will hang the picture where everyone will see it. So, are these the right things to say? We assume that everyone likes compliments and think that we will encourage them to do better with nice words. But when we look at the data, we see that the balance is on a fine line. It all depends on how the praise is expressed.
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EXAGGERATED PRAISE
The problem is not in praise, but in exaggerated praise: that is, instead of saying “beautiful”, he uses expressions such as “perfect”, “incredibly beautiful”. Especially if parents think that their children have a self-confidence problem, they hope to solve the problem by resorting to this way. But this method can backfire if the child thinks that the praise is not sincere. Also, this condition can push the child to an attitude of avoidance of future difficulties.
- When a comment was made about an ”incredibly beautiful picture“, it was found that children with low self-esteem were less likely to take on a difficult job later than those who were called a ”beautiful picture”. A single word has made this difference. Why? Researchers say that excessive praise sets an unattainable standard for these children and discourages them from trying hard.
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HOW TO PRAISE CHILDREN?
It is emphasized that before praising the child, you need to stop for a moment and think about how to give a message, set very high standards for him with your praise and not cause him to be afraid to fasten them in the future. It is important which features you will highlight when praising. It is noted that there is a big difference between praising them for their abilities (for example, how smart they are) and praising them for their effort (for example, saying “you tried too hard”).
- In one experiment, children who were praised for being “smart” took cautious steps and chose easy exercises that they knew in the next study, and when they failed, they were also more stressed. This approach gives them the message that being intelligent is a constant trait that is not in their control. He may be prevented from trying something new by worrying about not being able to maintain a high standard.
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- It is a more correct approach to give such a praise as ”I like that you focused on that job”. In order for them to solve the problem when they do it wrong, it is necessary to make constructive criticism. The phrases that will be voiced, of course, depend on age. All kinds of compliments from the point of view of preschoolers can motivate them, but at a slightly older age the situation changes.
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COMPARING
Research in Turkey shows that comparison compliments have a worse effect than not giving compliments at all. It is observed that comparative praise breaks down motivation, leading them to prefer easy exercises in the future. But this applies only if the children are not sure of the result of the work they are doing. If points are given, girls and boys behave differently; boys benefit from comparative praise, while the opposite is true for girls. So, girls react negatively when they are met with a praise that they are better than others; he tends to think that the main thing is to beat others, rather than enjoy the work done, and he experiences a decrease in motivation.
- It can be said that it is much more effective to praise children in terms of encouraging them, in terms of their efforts and approach to work. In the case of praise in terms of the result they have achieved, exaggerated praise may backfire.
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Turkey's world-renowned organ transplant specialist. Dr. Demirbaş has 104 international publications and 102 national publications.
Physician's Resume:
Born on August 7, 1963 in Çorum, Prof. Dr. Alper Demirbaş has been continuing his work as the President of MedicalPark Antalya Hospital Organ Transplantation Center since 2008.
Prof. who performed the first tissue incompatible kidney transplant in Turkey, the first blood type incompatible kidney transplant, the first kidney-pancreas transplant program and the first cadaveric donor and live donor liver transplant in Antalya. Dr. As of August 2016, Alper Demirbaş has performed 4900 kidney transplants, 500 liver transplants and 95 pancreas transplants.
In addition to being the chairman of 6 national congresses, he has also been an invited speaker at 12 international and 65 national scientific congresses. Dr. Alper Demirbaş was married and the father of 1 girl and 1 boy.
Awards:
Eczacibasi Medical Award of 2002, Akdeniz University Service Award of 2005, Izder Medical Man of the Year Award of 2006, BÖHAK Medical Man of the Year Award of 2007, Sabah Mediterranean Newspaper Scientist of the Year Award of 2007, ANTIKAD Scientist of the Year Award of 2009, Social Ethics Association Award of 2010, Işık University Medical Man of the Year Award of 2015, VTV Antalya's Brand Value Award of 2015.
Certificates:
Doctor of Medicine Degree Hacettepe University Faculty of Medicine Ankara, General Surgeon Ministry of Health Turkey EKFMG (0-477-343-8), University of Miami School of Medicine Member of Multiple Organ Transplant, ASTS Multiorgan Transplant Scholarship. Lecturer at Kyoto University. Lecturer at University of Essen, Research assistant at the University of Cambridge .
Professional Members:
American Society of Transplant Surgeons, American Transplantation Society Nominated, Middle East and Southern Africa Council Transplantation Society 2007, International Liver Transplantation Association, Turkish Transplantation Association, Turkish Society of Surgery, Turkish Hepatobiliary Surgery Association.
Disclaimer:
Our website contents consist of articles approved by our Web and Medical Editorial Board with the contributions of our physicians. Our contents are prepared only for informational purposes for public benefit. Be sure to consult your doctor for diagnosis and treatment.