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Nowadays, families are working hard financially and spiritually related to academic success to ensure a good future for their children. This situation also leads to an increase in the expectations of their children about the lessons. The report card is seen as one of the most concrete cases of this expectation. However, caution!

Turkey Medicals member and JCI Istanbul hospital clinic, Specialist clinical psychologist “was mobilized from the bad notes so families sometimes perceive as unfair to them when all the possibilities,” we’ve done everything we can, Why are these notes is still low’ by saying that he can get angry in this situation, can detect as an attack on themselves and their labor. However, the child’s academic success is the result of many variables; as well as related to the child’s cognitive and learning abilities, many other factors such as the family environment, his relationship with his parents, social relationships, and the school environment are effective. Therefore, there should be no comparisons between children, each child should be evaluated according to their potential and opportunities,” was said.

Expert Clinical Psychologist explained the 4 tricks of the right approach to parents, noting that the successful report card should be approached correctly, as well as the weak report card:

4 Recommendations for the correct approach to the weak report card

1- Avoid pointed and hurtful statements

The notes do not give negative information about the child’s intelligence skills or personality. Only the weak point to their lessons. Therefore, avoid generalizing the weaknesses in the report card and making pointed statements. Definitely stay away from phrases such as ’no man will become of you‘, ’Lazy’, which will injure the child’s personality, reduce his self-confidence and self-esteem. Such treatment does not motivate the child, but, on the contrary, leads to the fact that he feels worthless and incompetent, emotionally distances himself from his family. Again, emotional, humiliating stylistic and physical punishments that can deeply affect the child, such as ’You have upset us so much‘, ‘You have wasted our efforts’, also lead the child to a dead end.

2- Determine the roadmap together, questioning yourself as well

Also review your own attitudes towards the past process. I wonder if the child was interfered with a lot, did the child feel lonely, or was the child unwittingly prevented from doing something by being treated too protective? Therefore, thinking “I wonder what the child wants to tell us with this report card”, try to understand the message of the report card correctly. Tell your child“ “I think it’s been a difficult year. The results didn’t work out the way you wanted them to. Actually, we know that you can do better. But I wonder what happened, what went wrong, what forced you (if you have an idea about getting bad grades, it will be shared) to have a conversation together that expresses that there is a problem, thinks about the reasons, but also produces a solution, as if we can figure it out and find a way, because this will not happen like this. This will motivate the child and prevent him from feeling helpless.

3- Instead of the message ‘It’s too late’, give the message ‘We’ll fix it together’

‘Now we’re going to enter a new year, let’s evaluate it well, you take a rest, clear your head, play your games, but next year we’ll support you too; you’ll do your best, we know you’d like to bring a good report card. That’s what happened this year, but you can fix it next year. Make the child feel that he has the option to compensate and repair with approaches such as ’You will do your best next year’.

4- Keep motivated

It’s also not right to ignore the bad report card. Because it leads to a feeling of ‘not being cared for’ in the child. But strengthening it through its positive aspects gives the child strength. Therefore, make conversations that empower the child, such as ‘Look, you had such good grades in your report card last year, so you have the power to achieve good grades in you, it may not have happened this time, but this power is in you, and you can use this power again and get good grades, and we will support you in this direction’.

4 Recommendations for the correct approach to a successful report card

1- Do not drown your child in reward

One of the biggest mistakes to do is to praise your child who is successful and gets a certificate of appreciation more than necessary and drown him in a reward. Children should not be overwhelmed with great prizes. The gift of an appropriate and reasonable for the child’s age scorecard extremely encouraging for the child while they are great prizes like children, those notes for parents able to awaken a sense, the lesson is making it difficult to adopt the child a sense of responsibility,” he says. Furthermore, if a promise was made to the child as a report card gift before, it must be fulfilled, said, “Promises made that are not kept / not kept without explaining the reason well can create a feeling of disappointment in the child and distrust of the promises made by the parents.

2- Care about your success, avoid perfectionism

Do not trivialize your child’s effort and success by ignoring it. Be sure to appreciate it, give a small reward that will support its emotional development. If it is a perfectionist approach, be sure to avoid it.It is extremely important to stay away from the perfectionist attitude and avoid extreme rhetoric. A perfectionist attitude such as ‘100 of all grades, why is this grade 95′ can create a feeling that the child’s labor is not seen and more is always wanted.

3- Do not paste the gifted label

By pasting labels such as ‘gifted’ on the child, it is necessary not to enter into too high expectations from the child. Because this situation can create an element of pressure for children. Difficulties such as performance anxiety or exam anxiety related to losing an existing achievement may develop. Rhetoric such as ’My child is very successful, he will win this department, this university’ crushes children under this burden, leading them to experience intense stress. The course does not help to increase their success either, but on the contrary, it can cause them to regress.

4- Do not compare your children

A brother who has a good report card or even receives a certificate of appreciation should definitely not be an example to a brother who has a bad report card. This kind of comparison brings harm instead of benefit. Intense competition leads to jealousy between the brothers and may disrupt as among children, while the parents themselves may cause a feeling of loneliness and the feeling of dislikes for this reason.

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President of Organ Transplant Center at MedicalPark Hospital Antalya

Turkey's world-renowned organ transplant specialist. Dr. Demirbaş has 104 international publications and 102 national publications.

Physician's Resume:

Born on August 7, 1963 in Çorum, Prof. Dr. Alper Demirbaş has been continuing his work as the President of MedicalPark Antalya Hospital Organ Transplantation Center since 2008.

Prof. who performed the first tissue incompatible kidney transplant in Turkey, the first blood type incompatible kidney transplant, the first kidney-pancreas transplant program and the first cadaveric donor and live donor liver transplant in Antalya. Dr. As of August 2016, Alper Demirbaş has performed 4900 kidney transplants, 500 liver transplants and 95 pancreas transplants.

In addition to being the chairman of 6 national congresses, he has also been an invited speaker at 12 international and 65 national scientific congresses. Dr. Alper Demirbaş was married and the father of 1 girl and 1 boy.


Eczacibasi Medical Award of 2002, Akdeniz University Service Award of 2005, Izder Medical Man of the Year Award of 2006, BÖHAK Medical Man of the Year Award of 2007, Sabah Mediterranean Newspaper Scientist of the Year Award of 2007, ANTIKAD Scientist of the Year Award of 2009, Social Ethics Association Award of 2010, Işık University Medical Man of the Year Award of 2015, VTV Antalya's Brand Value Award of 2015.


Doctor of Medicine Degree Hacettepe University Faculty of Medicine Ankara, General Surgeon Ministry of Health Turkey EKFMG (0-477-343-8), University of Miami School of Medicine Member of Multiple Organ Transplant, ASTS Multiorgan Transplant Scholarship. Lecturer at Kyoto University. Lecturer at University of Essen, Research assistant at the University of Cambridge .

Professional Members:

American Society of Transplant Surgeons, American Transplantation Society Nominated, Middle East and Southern Africa Council Transplantation Society 2007, International Liver Transplantation Association, Turkish Transplantation Association, Turkish Society of Surgery, Turkish Hepatobiliary Surgery Association.


Our website contents consist of articles approved by our Web and Medical Editorial Board with the contributions of our physicians. Our contents are prepared only for informational purposes for public benefit. Be sure to consult your doctor for diagnosis and treatment.
Medically Reviewed by Professor Doctor Alper Demirbaş
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