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A TWIN CHILD IS MORE THAN TWO CHILDREN!
Asked about the mystery, H told me… Twin child psychology is usually based on the need to feel special. Parents also have to make serious efforts for this. So, what should I pay attention to?
H: M and I recently received the news of a friend’s twin baby. Everyone, including me, was happy to hear that she was pregnant and surprised at what she would say when she found out that she had twins (laughs).
M: I’m saying the only thing that can be said: May God help. I always say, only a mother of twins can understand a mother of triplets!
H: Amen, of course, to all mothers. I think everyone knows that it’s hard, there’s no need to even talk about it. I’m more interested in the psychology of twins.
M: The first child psychologist we went to told me, “Twin children are much more than two children.” Of course, I didn’t quite understand what you meant at the time!
H: Oh, he spoke so heavily!
M: Let me sum it up for you, my life with R is about trying to meet their need to feel special and valuable. Because unlike two brothers, twins can never be alone with their parents from the moment they are born. In addition, even if the parents don’t do it, there is always a situation where they are compared to each other by other people inside or outside the family.
H: Yeeeah
Twins can be very fond of each other and very jealous from infancy.
M: Of course. For example, when they are playing in the park, someone can come and say, “How cute is the boy, why is the girl so sullen” so that they will hear it. Or a distant relative can see it on a holiday and comment that ”The girl is very smart, the boy will definitely be a jerk”. Here’s the psychology of twins for you!
H: And they’re jealous of each other, of course…
M: Constantly. There’s always a rivalry between them. Just yesterday, the sea was looking at the photos of infancy, “I was sweeter than R, wasn’t I, mom”, he says. At between intervals, they both come up and say, “Do you like me better or him”” she asks.
H: And what do you answer?
M: I say, ”I love you two equally, but in separate ways.” ”You have a very special place for me,” I add.
H: Good answer, let the expectant mothers of twins take note! That’s why you gave it to separate classes anyway, isn’t it?
M: Of course. School life is their own private sphere. They already have to share a lot of things at home, especially parents. But his teacher is his teacher, his classmate is his friend. They don’t have to share it with each other. This is very important.
H: On the one hand, I know that the twins will have a very special bond.
M: That’s where it is. And they’re very fond of each other. His father was very angry with Y and gave him a big punishment one day. If you could only see how the sea cried. ”Isn’t that too much,” he says to his father (laughs).
H: So M, what would be your advice to twin mothers and twin mother candidates?
M: For one thing, the biggest problem of twin mothers is the feeling of inadequacy. It is necessary to admit that there is no such thing as being the perfect mother. There is no such thing as being the perfect mother of twins! Let them focus on decency, not equality, among their children. They are two different people and their needs are also different. Make sure that they get help and try to sleep at every opportunity as much as possible. Insomnia in Children is very difficult. Because one of them usually wakes up when the other one falls asleep.
H: You once told me that you were hallucinating.
M: Of course. Then they should not care about the state of the house at all. I turned the hall into a playground. I’ve removed everything that children can harm themselves with. Make sure they have time to get out of the house and meet up with their friends. If the mother does not do this, she will be very depressed and it will not help her children either. And don’t let their private lives with their wives go by. Don’t let them put sexuality on the 145th plan, for example.
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