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WHAT IS POSITIVE DISCIPLINE?
Emphasizing that the application of punishment in the upbringing of children can have negative consequences, Turkey specialist Educator conveyed his knowledge about positive discipline.
One of the methods that parents who have problems with children usually resort to is punishing children. Positive discipline should be applied instead of punishment. Positive discipline means creating a limit in their minds by giving unlimited and unconditional love to children without reward and punishment, and expressing a world in which they are free within those limits. But, unfortunately, families are resorting to widespread punishment instead of positive discipline.
When parents punish their children, they try to get a result by pushing them to a bad feeling first, but such behavior seems to provide short-term solutions, but in the long run, unfortunately, the skills of children related to self-discipline, self-control and responsibility awareness are negatively affected.
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HOW DO THE PUNISHED CHILDREN FEEL IN THE LONG RUN?
We can summarize the negative feelings that punishments create on children with the abbreviation 4i in 4 titles.
Resentment: Children drink when they are punished and have a sense of inability to trust adults.
Revenge: Children want to take revenge on their parents by considering the punishment as a loss.
Rebellion: Children choose to take the opposite attitude instead of acting in the way their parents see fit in the matters they are punished for.
Introversion: In this case, children try not to get caught in their next mistakes or think that they are a bad person with a damaged self-esteem.
As a result, problems solved with penalties can create problems in children’s worlds in the long run. Children who are awarded prizes are constantly waiting for a reward. They do not develop the behavior that is right for them and their society with their internal discipline and expect a response. Children who are waiting for this reward may become expecting more rewards each time.
Giving chocolate as a reward to a small child causes expectations that grow as he gets older, in short, to a bicycle, tablet, phone, car, and this becomes unsustainable. As adults, we should set our children free in that world by drawing boundaries and giving them the right to choose within those boundaries. We should also pay for the jobs they don’t do not with penalties, but by exposing them to sanctions that will experience the natural consequences of the jobs they don’t do.
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WHAT IS THE BIGGEST DIFFERENCE BETWEEN DECRIMINALIZATION AND PUNISHMENT?
Children should pay the natural price when they do not fulfill their responsibilities. The most troublesome situations at this point are that they don’t do homework or study. Instead of imposing penalties in these cases, we should question why they didn’t do their homework, whether they found it meaningless, or the degree of difficulty in the homework. There will definitely be a problem at the root of the behaviors that are not done and that are not desired. We give a reward or a punishment for dealing with superficial parts without solving this problem. Instead, by exploring the concept of positive discipline in more detail, we can ensure that our children grow up in a healthier environment and become more developed children with responsibility awareness, self-discipline and self-control skills.
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