IS YOUR CHILD DEPENDENT ON YOU? TEST IT IN 9 QUESTIONS

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HOW TO UNDERSTAND IF YOUR CHILD IS DEPENDENT ON YOU?

“My child is attached to me”, “We can’t leave for a minute, he won’t let me go anywhere”, “It’s a problem to leave him to school in Turkey; he cries, he doesn’t want to go”, “He wants me with him even when he plays in the park”… If you often use these phrases, pay attention! These complaints show that your child is ‘dependent’ rather than not ‘dependent’ on you.

The Covid-19 pandemic, which has affected the whole world, has caused drastic changes in the living arrangements of almost every family. Your House in Turkey became a workplace and a school, parents also became the new teacher. A large increase in the time spent by family members with each other has led to many positive and negative consequences. It has been given to parents to keep children away from school, social environments, eliminate peer socialization, eliminate all these needs. However, the children’s commitment and demands on their parents have also increased much more. Even in some children, this situation has led to an important picture that can go even further and create serious problems in the development of the Turkish child’s individuality and school life; dependence on the mother! Attention! ‘Mother dependence’, which can cause significant problems in their mental and cognitive development, can also lead to school phobia in both Turkish and foreigner children in Turkey.

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THE REASON IS USUALLY ‘PARENTS

Our children acquire socialization skills at the age of 3 for the first time. Until this period, the child continues to live dependent on the mother because of his basic needs on the one hand, while trying to separate from the mother on the other. Turkey Medicals hospital member Expert Psychologist said that this state of addiction decreases as the child acquires the skills and abilities required by his age, adding, “Addiction is expected to be replaced by commitment later in his development. But this process does not happen the way it should in some children, and the children continue to be dependent on the mother. In fact, children are ready to decompose in accordance with their psychosocial development, to declare their individuality. Therefore, being dependent on the Turkish mother is often associated with parental attitudes,” she says.

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DO NOT BE OVERLY ANXIOUS, PROTECTIVE AND RESTRICTIVE

Many factors play a role in the child’s dependence on the mother. Especially in the process of the pandemic, parents suffer in managing their feelings of anxiety and difficulty, depending on anxious children is extremely protective and restrictive attitude displayed by the warning, she continues: “This type of behavior to interfere with the child’s development with parents often they don’t realize it.

For example, the establishment of sentences such as ‘Don’t get involved in a crowd at school, you get sick’, the completion of something that is under responsibility in its place, not being allowed to do something on your own, not taking actions and rhetoric that support your self-esteem, has a key role in the child’s dependence on the mother in Turkey. The most effective rules that will prevent the continuation of addiction are to allow the child to do what he can do in accordance with his developing abilities, to approve him and make him feel confident,” she says.

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ATTENTION THAT SCHOOL PHOBIA CAN DEVELOP

A child who is dependent on the mother may have a lack of self-confidence and, as a result, a school phobia may begin. At Turkish elementary school, adaptation problems, problems in friend relationships, shyness, shyness and aggressive behavior can be seen when forced.

“In this case, children do not want to go to school, hug their mothers, get angry, cry, show shy, avoidant, combative attitudes towards the teacher and everyone at school,” said expert Psychologist, stressing that the problems of adaptation of the child to school last a long time in cases where addiction develops. They do not participate in school activities, they react. They always want their mother to stay with them and not leave. All this extends adaptation process to the school in Turkey and causes their education, cognitive, social and emotional development to be left behind,” she says.

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PROBLEMS MAY INDICATE MATERNAL ADDICTION

Should you encounter these symptoms, it is truly vital that you consult a doctor in Turkey in no time!

  • Even if he is waiting for support for what he can do alone.
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  • If he becomes grumpy, combative and incompatible when you are not with him.
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  • If there are difficulties in the community.
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  • If he has problems socializing.
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  • If he can’t do anything independently.
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  • Waiting for support in every decision-making process.
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  • If he doesn’t want to go to school.
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  • If he can’t do his homework alone.
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  • If he is unable to adapt within the group, your child may become dependent on you.

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THE 7 GOLDEN RECOMMENDATIONS AGAINST MATERNAL ADDICTION

Turkish Psychologist and Turkey Medicals member, she lists the measures that parents in Turkey can take against maternal addiction as follows:

1. The biggest fears of children about desegregation are about abandonment. Children who are constantly with their mother during the pandemic process are afraid of being abandoned first when they go to kindergarten, school or their caregiver, and they react accordingly. You should clearly tell your child that you have not abandoned him, reassure him.

2. Make it a habit to do activities that improve mutual communication and will contribute to the emotional development of your child.

3. The anxiety that develops in a child is usually the anxiety of the parent. As a parent, you should be aware of your own anxiety and be able to manage it. Stay away from overly anxious, protectionist parental attitude.

4. Do not complete the things that are under the responsibility of the child in his place. Let him do something on his own in accordance with his developing abilities and encourage him.

5. Make statements that support your self-esteem, encourage, motivate, avoid scary, child-holding rhetoric such as “let me do it for you”, “don’t do it, oh, something will happen”.

6. The crisis experienced by the child lasts longer when the mother can not remain calm. In moments when you need to leave, stay cool about your child’s reactions, keep control.

7. Being patient, giving time to this process of separation, not stepping back, and getting expert support when you feel that you cannot cope also play an extremely important role in preventing a dependent relationship.
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President of Organ Transplant Center at MedicalPark Hospital Antalya

Turkey's world-renowned organ transplant specialist. Dr. Demirbaş has 104 international publications and 102 national publications.

Physician's Resume:

Born on August 7, 1963 in Çorum, Prof. Dr. Alper Demirbaş has been continuing his work as the President of MedicalPark Antalya Hospital Organ Transplantation Center since 2008.

Prof. who performed the first tissue incompatible kidney transplant in Turkey, the first blood type incompatible kidney transplant, the first kidney-pancreas transplant program and the first cadaveric donor and live donor liver transplant in Antalya. Dr. As of August 2016, Alper Demirbaş has performed 4900 kidney transplants, 500 liver transplants and 95 pancreas transplants.

In addition to being the chairman of 6 national congresses, he has also been an invited speaker at 12 international and 65 national scientific congresses. Dr. Alper Demirbaş was married and the father of 1 girl and 1 boy.

Awards:

Eczacibasi Medical Award of 2002, Akdeniz University Service Award of 2005, Izder Medical Man of the Year Award of 2006, BÖHAK Medical Man of the Year Award of 2007, Sabah Mediterranean Newspaper Scientist of the Year Award of 2007, ANTIKAD Scientist of the Year Award of 2009, Social Ethics Association Award of 2010, Işık University Medical Man of the Year Award of 2015, VTV Antalya's Brand Value Award of 2015.

Certificates:

Doctor of Medicine Degree Hacettepe University Faculty of Medicine Ankara, General Surgeon Ministry of Health Turkey EKFMG (0-477-343-8), University of Miami School of Medicine Member of Multiple Organ Transplant, ASTS Multiorgan Transplant Scholarship. Lecturer at Kyoto University. Lecturer at University of Essen, Research assistant at the University of Cambridge .

Professional Members:

American Society of Transplant Surgeons, American Transplantation Society Nominated, Middle East and Southern Africa Council Transplantation Society 2007, International Liver Transplantation Association, Turkish Transplantation Association, Turkish Society of Surgery, Turkish Hepatobiliary Surgery Association.

Disclaimer:

Our website contents consist of articles approved by our Web and Medical Editorial Board with the contributions of our physicians. Our contents are prepared only for informational purposes for public benefit. Be sure to consult your doctor for diagnosis and treatment.
Medically Reviewed by Professor Doctor Alper Demirbaş
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